Homophobia Inquiry

Today in class it was mentioned that according to the textbook, research shows that men tend to be more homophobic than women and our question to this was why? Why are men more homophobic?

My answer/belief to this question is that men want to come across as masculine and they believe that if they approve of homosexuals that they will be seen as feminine or a homosexual themselves. When I was reading the textbook I found it interesting when I came across a research study that was done. They had two group of heterosexual males except one group was homophobic while the other was not. They placed a video of male on male action and recorded the sexual response. The heterosexual males who were not homophobic had no sexual response to the video but the heterosexual males who were homophobic had a small sexual response to the video. So with this said it also makes me wonder if most  homophobic males are gay themselves or unsure of their sexual orientation.

homophobic cartoon I found on Google

Females on the other hand are more accepting to homosexuals than males are. I take an evolutionary prospective on this and say it's because women were always seen as the motherly, caring type of people who accept anyone. Most women believe that these values are still within them therefore they are more accepting to the concept of homosexuals. I also believe that women are more accepting of there sexual orientation then men are. Most lesbians are fine when coming out to people whereas gay males tend to have a harder time accepting the fact that they are indeed gay and therefore have trouble coming out to people. I believe society plays a strong role in those actions due to the fact that they tend to accept lesbians better than gay males, why that is? I'm not sure.

Sexual Orientation

We talked about several aspects of sexual orientation such as classification issues, kinsey's continuum, erotic dimensions but the one thing that stuck out for me in class today was Barry Adam's ideas. His idea, which I find true, is that relationships and attractions are more than just sex, they involve an emotional side to it as well as a strong connection between the two people. My teacher made a very good point in class regarding this idea. Heterosexual males like girls but do they like every girl they see?No they don't, they become attracted to an individual and gain a strong relationship with them (on most occasions). Same goes with homosexual males, yes they do like men but not all men. They to become attracted to an individual who they believe share the same interests and goals. So my question is why do all heterosexual males believe that all gay males are attracted to them? It stupid, it really is.

Pictures I found on Google

Why is it Hard For Homosexuals to Come Out?

The question many people have is, "Why is it so Hard For Homosexuals to Come Out?" With how society is today it should be easier for homosexuals to revel their truth about their sexuality but that's not the case. Most are afraid of being bullied, shut out from former friendships and even shut out by family members. I actually work with a guy who is homosexual and has only told a few people me not being one of them. I knew he was gay ever since high school but even mentioned anything about it. I get along great with him and see him as a good friend of mine now but yet I ask myself why won't he tell me he's gay? He knows I will not make fun of him or treat him differently just because he's gay. My co-workers who he has come out too even told him that I know but yet to this day he has yet to tell me face-to-face.

Today in class we watched a video on a homosexual male who was in the hockey league as an assistant, his name was Brendan Burke who sadly passed away in a car crash. He was one of the first people in hockey history to admit that he was gay. So many gay athletes are afraid to come out due to fear of being treated differently by teammates and even by the public themselves. It's stressful for them to keep their sexuality a secret but even more stressful to find a way of letting the world know. A man in the video made a very good point in that when a women comes out as being homosexual not many people care or are offended by it but when a male comes out it's a whole other story.

I believe that the reason why most males do not accept gay males is due to the fact that they believe that if a gay male is around them that they will try to hit on them or are attracted to them but that's not the case at all. Gay males and females do not go after heterosexual individuals and if they do it is an honest mistake on their part. I believe this in one of the main reasons why males in society do not tolerate other males who are homosexual.

People always say be yourself don't ever change who you are for others. So why is it when homosexual individuals come out that many people are offended and taken back by it? Homosexuals are people as well; people who have feelings and emotions and are capable of caring for others. People should not judge a person but their sexuality but rather by their personality and inner beauty. So many teen homosexuals commit suicide due to cyber and school bullying. Society needs to take a greater stand for this topic before it's too late.

De-Romancifing Relationships

Today was an interesting day in class we talked about relationships and taking the passion and excitement out of it and getting to know the process and communication behind a relationship. We first talked about the ABC and sometimes DE model. A standing for attraction in which two people begin by being attracted to one another. B stands for building in which the couple begins to build their relationship and intimacy level. C standing for continuation in which the two must decide where the relationship is going from there. Sadly sometimes people encounter D and E. D standing for Deterioration where one partner or both may decide that they do not want to be in the relationship anymore. Finally there's E which stands for Ending where the relationship is done.

Communication skills were discussed today and I would like to incorporate these ideas into the ABC(DE) model. I believe that if a relationship contained more communication skills maybe D and E would not occur. Talking about sex and intimacy can solve and prevent future problems. With this said, if more couples communicated more it would result in less problems. Less problems can create stronger relationships. I know in my own personal experience I had an ex who I never really communicated with about issues and you can guess where that relationship went. I believe that my current boyfriend and I have great communication skills. He makes me feel comfortable when I'm around him and therefore I can discuss issues I have within the relationship. I think our communication skills play a large role in why we have been together for so long. =)

Sternberg's Triangular Model of Love

Today in class we discussed a topic called Sternberg's Triangular Model of Love. I found the concept interesting and very factual in a way. Each corner of the triangle had titles one being Liking(intimacy), another Empty Love(commitment), and the last corner Infatuation(passion). Between each point there are three more types of love one is Romantic Love(passion & intimacy), another is Companionate Love(intimacy & commitment), and finally the last one is Fatuous Love(passion & commitment). To top of his whole structure with the middle of the triangle there is Consummate Love and in Sternberg's believes it is the most valued love; a love most people will want. It includes all components(passion, intimacy, and commitment).

Found on Google

The other day in class we watched a couple clips from Romeo & Juliet. With that said today we were asked which love do Romeo & Juliet have according to Sternberg's Triangular Model of Love. Personally I believe that their love would have been fatuous love. I believe this because the two obviously could not create a level of intimacy if they were forbidden to hang out with each other. On the other hand I do believe that they had a strong level of passion and commitment. Some people in my class disagreed with the commitment part but I do not understand why. The two lovers had to have commitment for each other if they both killed themselves for love. So with this said fatuous love which contains passion and commitment, is what the two lovers had (at least I think so).

Found on Google

Revolution of Attraction

I like to think that attraction in the 21st century is like a revolution from attraction in the past centuries. Way back when, I find that men saw women as a trophy; women cleaned, took care of the kids, looked nice, and obeyed their husbands. From this point I can see how Buss created the idea that men value attractiveness in women and that's all they value. Back then women were the homemakers therefore they needed a man who could provide for them so with that said Buss' ideas are correct for during that time period.

Now in the 21st century we can see that men value a woman that can provide for herself where she has a stable job and is educated. I noticed this when we did an in-class discussion on the topic and found that the males not only valued a women who was attractive but they valued a woman who has a stable job. I also find that in society today women appreciate a husband who is loyal and respects her. In the past I think women believe that they didn't deserve respect they just did whatever their husbands demanded them to do.

Attraction has changed over time, from clothing styles to how people treat their lovers; attraction has revolutionized.

Attraction

What makes a person attractive? This question was brought up in class to think about. In my own experience I find my boyfriend to be attractive because hes muscular,tanned, humorous, loyal, mature, has a stable job, gets along with my family, and I know that he loves me. I thought men and women had the same views on attractiveness but today I found out that it's not necessarily true. According to Buss, in long-term relationships women look for a provider while men look for sexual attractiveness.

Even thought I do believe most men value what their wives and girlfriends do for them but in another way I also believe that men can take women for granted. I don't mean to sound feminist but by watching some television shows, I find that men sometimes value the woman's physical looks rather that what they do around the house for the family.

This is a clip I found from According to Jim. I find it presents several examples of Jim taking Cheryl for granted, just as some men do to their wives and girlfriends.

Gender Challengers

I find it interesting that we even have gender ideals still in society. They say that many children look up to the celebrities and sometimes are even influenced by what they may do in movies and tv shows. There's so many gender challengers in the world that I don't understand why we even have gender ideals. Hollywood is full of gender challengers such as, Ellen, Angelina Jolie, Adam Lambert, Miss J and several more.

Pictures I found on google.

 Children look up to celebrities and many grow up challenging their gender themselves. There's several girls out there that like to wear "guy" clothes, in fact I used to be one of those girls. I didn't care what I wore as long as I felt comfortable. With gender ideals in society those young girls grow up and are then seen as "tomboys"; they're not tomboys they are girls. Then society wonders why there's so much bullying occurring around the world. I believe that gender ideals plays a strong role in bullying. If a child challenges their gender they get picked on.

An inspiring video I found on YouTube.

If society destroyed their views on how males should act and how females should act, I suspect there would be less teenage suicidals around the world. Ellen herself is a lesbian which makes this video even more inspiring, for someone who knows what young homosexual teenagers are feeling, to say it will get better.

Oedipal Phase

When I first learnt about the Oedipall phase or theory, I thought it was the most screwed up idea out there but then I came to realize what it was trying to get at. It's true that at a young age even thought most boys will spend time with their father, they deep down love the nourishment their mother gives them, therefore it will create tension between the son and father to get the mother's attention.

This is just a comical cartoon I found on google based on the oedipal phase.

One concept I found have to argue against in the phase would be when it states that girls at a young age get penis envy from their father mostly. I don't ever recall wanting a penis. I do recall wondering why females and males had a different down stairs but that was it. I always thought that if a young girl envied the penis that eventually they would become a transsexual and want to become a male as they got older. I find it crazy for a young girl to envy a penis. I do understand and agree with the concept that they are eventually happy with their vagina when they realize they get to have children later in life.

Even though there's theories all around us about gender typing, at the end of the day there's always the sayings of "mamma's boy" and "daddy's little girl."

Gender Roles

Today our topic in class was on gender and within that topic was gender roles, a complex group of ideas in which males and females are expected to behave. I found the following video on YouTube in which children were asked about gender roles.

I find it interesting that one of the little girls answers that girls have long hair when in reality there are several girls out there with short hair. I find it interesting due to the fact that children observe others in order to differentiate between males and females. It makes me wonder if media plays a role in their differentiating process.

Another point I noticed that was in a way disturbing to here was that the children said that the male doll is the one that goes to work. It makes me think of the olden days when woman had no working rights and were born to be a home maker. Which brings up another point about the children choosing the female doll to be the one that cleans and takes care of the children. It's sad to think that these kids believe in these ideas even though I'm sure their thoughts about gender roles will change over time. Even though I'm sure media plays a role in their schema process, I also believe that some children books bring about these ideas as they look at the pictures and read the story. All in all I hope these children come to realise that both genders share equal rights in society.